Another apology, fic writing pace, and farewells and light

[davetheanalyzer]

Past mistakes can be hard to shake from the mind, whatever their level. There are some that are long ago and even minor, so would probably seem weird to bring up now. However, there is one issue at the moment I feel an urge to bring up. Around 2012, I posted an article about “Japan’s Untouchable Workers” on ontd_political One of the comments corrected that the term used in the article was somewhere in the slur direction and the proper term is the dowa people. I apologize that I didn’t respond and note that. I can barely remember my mindset when reading it but I barely responded to comments then and I might have saw it as a reaction against some of the political articles I have been posting. If the latter is true, I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have let my feelings get in the way of accepting such a correction. If someone corrects me on this matter now, I’ll acknowledge and note the correction. I’m ashamed of some of my actions in that community and I hope those I interacted with there that I annoyed and hurt to whatever level are in a better place since then.

In other news, my writing is still going at a snail’s pace. I have tried the method of opening a private window and play music there while I’m writing, only opening a regular window to watch a minute of Doctor Who for writing inspiration. But I still manage to get distracted. Mind you, it might be because this set of chapters involve a lot of fight scenes. There are some breaks of conversation and character that energize me but fight scenes can be draining. I’ll have to work on imbuing it with more character the next time around. Hopefully I can balance this writing with my classes starting at the beginning of the week. That does means any secondary writing beside We Will Hold On Forever will be more sporadic.

In other news, I saw two movies. The first is The Farewell. I saw it get talked about and kept checking for when it might be played in my local theaters. Fortunately a few weeks back, it did appear and I manage to see it with my mom. It was a good movie, one I later learned was based on a true story. A lot of the dialogue was subtitled while the characters spoke Chinese Mandarin, which I heard was an issue for some approached for the project but my mom and I were able to follow it well enough. The conflict is with a grandmother dying and the cultural debate about whether to inform her so she could make her last arrangements or to leave her ignorant and have her last moments be happy.

Billi has settled into America and adopted a lot of the culture, a depressed young adult who’s close to her grandmother. Her reasoning that her grandmother should know appears to come from a point of love and feels it’s an injustice on her part. This leads to tension with her parents, who try to leave her behind due to fear she would blow the cover but she follows them. It does show the complex yet loving relationship she has with her parents. Nai Nai herself is a firebrand, warm and funny around Billi and doesn’t hold back her opinions. Since she also held back to her husband that he was dying, there is some ambiguity if she knows she’s dying and is playing along to the charade or if she is as oblivious as she appears. Her being a former member of Mao’s army was a surprise and it was interesting to glimpse how the surviving members of that old guard joked and traded stories among each other. She wasn’t always nice, bad-talking her grandson’s Japanese fiancé who wasn’t fluent in the language and apparently not being kind to Billi’s mother in the past. Still, that makes her a complex, real person who gets along with some but not others but the latter can become warmer over time.

The moment where Billi’s uncle breaks down at the wedding and the married grandson becomes emotional were moving, showing how much they loved Nai Nai. The Chinese perspective that hiding the oncoming death of a loved one spares them grief and that the family takes on the struggles and grief until the passing is an interesting perspective. As an American, I have issue with the practice but it is explained in a way that it’s an understandable viewpoint. I did like that Billi in the end couldn’t reveal the truth to Nai Nai but admitted she couldn’t get a writing internship and how that moment of honestly allowed Nai Nai to assure her. The moment where they say goodbye to her and Billi and her mother appear to mourn this being the last time they see her is pretty good. I was surprised when the video came showing the real life inspiration for the story is still alive five years on. I looked it up on the drive home and it apparently was based on a true lie the family has to keep going and they told her the film was about something else. All in all, it was a good film that helped to understand everyone’s perspectives.

I also saw Blinded by the Light. Mom and I saw the trailer for it in front of The Farewell and were vaguely interested in seeing it. Fortunately, it started playing in our local theater. Originally, we were going to see it yesterday, but checking the theater website revealed Thursday was the last day it was going to play and fortunately, my mom was willing to see it at the last minute. She definitely didn’t regret it, and I enjoyed the movie. It is yet another film based on a true story, with at least the main character’s name changed for some reason. It is a film based on the experience of a British-Pakistani family in the UK during the 80s, and how music that is already several years old can reach someone in a different culture. Javed Khan is an unhappy teenager in a town he hates ravaged by Thatcher’s policies, a target of some racism, and having his life planned out by his sterns but well-meaning father Malik who expresses some casual antisemitism when attempting to motivate Javed or keep him in line. Instead of economics, he went with writing, an already present passion since he wrote lyrics for his childhood friend’s Matt’s band and wrote poems and diaries to get his thoughts out. The teacher is encouraging of him to pursue his writing talent, though I was unsure by her and one other person telling him to emphasize his British-Pakistani perspective – ultimately, it’s about how this perspective is valued but I did wonder if the writers were going for how that can box in writers from marginalized groups.

Bruce Springsteen's music answers to his frustrations with the town and his family. It gives him an outlet for his feelings and creativity. It gets him closer to activist Eliza, who rebels against her racist, Tory parents. When he does something wrong, she makes sure to inform him. He seems closest to his sister Shazia, who keeps his trysts with Eliza secret and reveals to him her own form of rebellion at a club she goes to for skipping school. I like how Javed seems to be about to be stern about a boy she is going out with and then expresses his approval.  He goes along with Matt’s father ripping into Matt’s music tastes after the father took to Javed’s Springsteen love. I did like Javed made up by acknowledging everyone has music that speaks to them and he shouldn’t have made fun of him, with Matt feeling hurt and betrayed after sticking by his friend for so long. Even with this, it’s Roops he end up getting closer to with their shared Springsteen obsession he started in Javed and remains close to him through thick and thin (Though like a teenage boy during the time, he makes awkward, sometimes inappropriate attempts to flirt).

The challenge between maintaining ties to your home country’s culture and adapting to a new one that is often hostile to your presence is a big one for Javed and his family. His father Malik practically runs the family, trying to make their children’s lives better even if it mightn’t be what they want, all for the matter of survival. The UK didn’t accept him and he did all he could to make sure they had enough money to survive, so passions didn’t seem practical and it’s best to keep your head down and not draw attention to yourself. The tension increases through the film, especially when Malik gets laid off. We get some scenes with him sans Javed that make his motivations sympathetic, as he feels like a failure to the family. After Javed left a family wedding to get Springsteen tickets, where Malik and a relative get attacked by National Front racists, he is in some ways understandably furious. This would lead to harsh words and ticket ripping and Javed eventually leaving.

I do like we learn he also went against his father by leaving Pakistan and that he looks through Javed’s work while he is away to apparently understand him. The parallel is heightened when a piece of music Malik is played over his scenes earlier in the film, music that he plays in his car that presumably spoke to him. The reconciliation where Eliza tips the Khan family off to Javed reading his work at an event was heartwarming. Things are back to balance where Javed can freely pursue his own interests and career that make him happy but stays close with his family. I do like the hugs he gives to everyone as he says goodbye and goes to a college away from Luton, and that Malik warms to Springsteen. Javed seeing his past self seems to signal that he accepts all parts of himself as he pursues his dream. All in all, a good movie. 

That’s all for now. With classes starting, I’m thinking of pulling back from Tumblr posting after this Sunday, so I would have more time for class and other leisure stuff, since it takes up a lot of time. I’ll see how it works. Until the end of September, see you!