davetheanalyzer: (Mothra)
I’ve started therapy. I’ve been going for over a month now, talking about concerns and basic 101 matters on how to change. Hopefully this guidance would push me to be less reclusive and be braver. I have read through the documents the therapist provided twice last weekend, though I haven’t memorized them. I confronted someone in my house about using the r-slur several days prior and though I didn’t follow the instructions on the confronting paper exactly, the person did apologize. Granted, they didn’t seem the type to make a fight about it but that was heartening. I also poked a user if they were reposting fanart with permission or not but since I got no response, decided not to make a fight over it. The challenge is when to confront someone and when to walk away, as you often can’t change people’s minds. My therapist and I are currently going over my routines and looking to find times that can be opened up to make space for more socializing. Seeing any results will probably take months, even years, so I don’t expect immediate changes within me (Though I hope they will come to be positive)

In other news, yeah, it’s looking like I won’t be posting much of We Will Hold On Forever this semester, if not for the year. I keep skipping writing days for my master project and though I don’t technically have to make up for them, I feel the impulse to. So the fanfic will be put off for the most part. I’m vaguely thinking of doubling one day of master project writing so I would have a day to spare for the fanfic but I hesitate since that could be very draining. This is all happening when, for personal reasons, I’m losing some passion for writing Land Before Time fanfic. That sucks, because I like the series and I want to put my story ideas down but some negative associations have been polluting that love. I have decided to distance myself from those associations but I wonder if that is enough. At the very least, I want to finish We Will Hold On Forever if I’m really going to move on from the fandom.

Cut for talk and spoilers for Birds of Prey and The Photograph, and some potential brief issues of transphobia and consent? )

That’s all for now. I’ve spent most of the Saturday rewriting this post and I have slept around the clock again to get to a good sleep schedule. I hope it works this time. Until the end of March, see you!

davetheanalyzer: (Chomper and Ruby)
The end of another year and this time the end of a decade. Though that sometimes confuses me, since some don’t count a new set of numbers have started until it has turned into one, like 11, 2021, etc. Anyway, I believe I have changed a lot this past decade and made mistakes that I hope not to repeat again. I apologized for more than a few major and minor ones, though there are one or two I might have been better off letting time heal any annoyances or wounds. Unless someone approaches for the above or other errors I did in the past, maybe I should not just suddenly bring it up, as that can be intrusive unwelcome reminders of those times.

Anyway, I finished classes a week or two ago. Checking the grades, I got more A’s. I will be enjoying my vacation but it won’t be for long, as I will back doing the final classes of Master Project on the 15th next month. I already talked to the professor about how I would go about the pace of writing original novel material but he said he would get back to that later. I can wait. Unfortunately, I mightn’t be able to update We Will Hold On Forever this month either. Editing down scenes is slow work and I sometimes distract myself by looking at my phone even though I put my laptop in airplane mode. I don’t know if I’ll be able to post before my spring classes start but I hope I can at least write on weekends and post the next chapters before I really dive into writing original work.

Cut for spoilers for Queenn & Slim and Star Wars 9, and some talk of racism in the former )

That’s all for this year. I’ve been up all night, so after I edit and post this, I’m going to bed. Happy New Year, and see you at the end of January.

davetheanalyzer: (Anguirus)

I went to that writer group like I said I would. There were three other people beside me and we went over Horror and its do’s and don’ts. There was an issue about covering a certain subject I disputed but the meeting in general was fine and I plan to clarify the issue at the next meeting. I often raised my hand to speak up on my views and writing advice. It was a bit of a challenge not to talk too much, an issue I have with a lot of in-person meetings. I want to say all my observations and ideas. I read a bit of my small chapter of We Will Hold On Forever, since I was already doing original fiction for classes (Yes, I know another perspective is valuable but I wasn’t interested in that at the moment). I explained a bit of The Land Before Time context before going in. It is writing that is two years old and I have developed a bit since then, so I was unsure about it, but though there were a few quibbles, the reception was good. One woman said the dialogue was realistic, which was wild to me, since I was merely imitating the talking style of these cartoon antagonists as best as I could. That was flattering to hear. I’ll continue going, to see if it will help in being social and being in contact with more people.

In other news, I found using a private window to prevent distraction while writing fanfiction wasn’t working. I mainly keep it open so as to listen to calming music but since that leaves me vulnerable to browse around to avoid writing, I decided to download the videos with calming music, close out the browser, and put the computer in airplane mode. I did begin to look around on my phone while I wrote the first day but that has barely popped up since. I’m making a page or two more progress than I did before. Not as much as I’d like but its progress. I don’t know if I will make posting the next chapters of We Will Hold On Forever before the end of December but we will shall see.

In education news, it’s soon time for me to write and post yet another short essay. This is about memoirs and about how accurate to be to reality. It’s a bit of a shorter timeframe than I remember with the first essay but I believe I can make it. I believe in being true, but memory is unreliable and subjective views can be useful for historical and group perspectives. Tracking down objective truth can be a challenge, since societal norms can make certain things “objective truth,” only later to be proven wrong. Ah well, I’ll see how that goes when I do the essay. I also have another book with a ton of pages to read. Don’t quote me on it, but I might skip some tumblr sessions in the days to come to make room for reading them.

Cut for spoilers of Abominable and some of the awful politics I learned about it later )

That’s all for now. I’m taking the day off from some of my usual habits because it’s Halloween, though because of weather and other matters, trick or treating won’t happen until a day or two later. Until the end of November, see you!

davetheanalyzer: (Chomper and Ruby)

Past mistakes can be hard to shake from the mind, whatever their level. There are some that are long ago and even minor, so would probably seem weird to bring up now. However, there is one issue at the moment I feel an urge to bring up. Around 2012, I posted an article about “Japan’s Untouchable Workers” on ontd_political One of the comments corrected that the term used in the article was somewhere in the slur direction and the proper term is the dowa people. I apologize that I didn’t respond and note that. I can barely remember my mindset when reading it but I barely responded to comments then and I might have saw it as a reaction against some of the political articles I have been posting. If the latter is true, I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have let my feelings get in the way of accepting such a correction. If someone corrects me on this matter now, I’ll acknowledge and note the correction. I’m ashamed of some of my actions in that community and I hope those I interacted with there that I annoyed and hurt to whatever level are in a better place since then.

In other news, my writing is still going at a snail’s pace. I have tried the method of opening a private window and play music there while I’m writing, only opening a regular window to watch a minute of Doctor Who for writing inspiration. But I still manage to get distracted. Mind you, it might be because this set of chapters involve a lot of fight scenes. There are some breaks of conversation and character that energize me but fight scenes can be draining. I’ll have to work on imbuing it with more character the next time around. Hopefully I can balance this writing with my classes starting at the beginning of the week. That does means any secondary writing beside We Will Hold On Forever will be more sporadic.

Review and spoilers for The Farewell and Blinded by the Light )

That’s all for now. With classes starting, I’m thinking of pulling back from Tumblr posting after this Sunday, so I would have more time for class and other leisure stuff, since it takes up a lot of time. I’ll see how it works. Until the end of September, see you!

davetheanalyzer: (Anguirus)

Near the end of another month. Of course me trying to be at least a bit social once a day or every other day didn’t work out. This is partly because of my sleep schedule, which has gone wild again and I’m trying to focus on getting back on track and partly because it’s hard to fit it in to my usual habits, and I have a tendency to delay things. Even if a social interaction is likely to be cordial, I’m afraid of screwing up in some way. I’m introverted and don’t want too much social interaction but having some engagement feels nice. Even just making an original post and having someone interact with it in some way leaves me with a better mood. I’ll try to do more next month but a new semester is starting and with online classes, I would have a lot more social interaction there, so my interactions in other Internet places will be more limited.

Finally posted my next We Will Hold On Forever chapter. I know that means part 2 will be posted in August, but I didn’t know if I was going to make posting it or not this month at all. I was going slow revising the next set of chapters and was unsure if they were good enough yet that I could start getting ready for this month’s chapters. I came to the point of “good enough” but I’ll see how they hold up when it’s time for their posting. As for what chapters 19 and 20 contain, I can only say that Things(TM) happen. I look forward to the reactions.

Review and spoilers for Spiderman Far From Home and The Last Black Man in San Francisco )

That’s all for now. Until the end of August when a new semester starts, see you!

davetheanalyzer: (Default)
Still not progressing as much as I want on writing. I still get tempted by distractions and only get two or so pages down per day instead of the usual four or five. I looked up a few writing apps to see if they would help but not many appear compatible with Opera. I surmise I have to work harder with staying concentrated. I hope I can make posting chapters 19 and 20 at the end of next month, since editing chapters 21 and 22 might need a few more drafts. As always it’s hard to balance so many characters and find places to put in even little character moments. Also chapters 21 and 22 are now around 45 pages total. Kind of wild that the first draft was barely even 30 pages at first but it’s what happens when you try to edit and expand things.

Still haven’t socialized as much online. Did a bit more original posts and responses, but I have stayed with observing and merely reposting other people’s posts. That is good in some cases with issues other people know more about and have more standing to speak up on but it can cut in with talking with other people. A certain version of that I alluded to can be draining. As I said before, maybe once a day or every other day, I should talk to someone. That way, I can get used to talking with others and maybe roll with any mistakes I might make.

Spoilers and talk of Detective Pikachu and Godzilla King of the Monsters 2019 )

Anyway, that’s all for now. I have a weird lump on my neck I have had checked out. Hopefully, it’s nothing. Until the end of July, see you!

davetheanalyzer: (Default)
So classes have been over for a few weeks. I originally planned to just take one class for the fall but it fell .5 credits over the minimal needed for financial aid, so I took another Writing Portfolio class. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things but I was looking forward to doing less work. I even said goodbye to the professor of it. Ah well. I’ll have to email him that I’m taking the Writing Portfolio class again at some point. 

Still struggling with not getting distracted while I write, whether fanfiction or original fiction. I keep going to twitter or putting around on other sites and then I get sucked into things there. I try to put my laptop into a position where I would remain focused on writing but it doesn’t always work and my current headphones are very sensitive – I have to loop them around the wing of the chair to keep the sound from going in and out. I wonder if the place for my headphone jack might be flawed. When I use it for my phone, the sound comes out fine. Either that, or the headphone wire is shorting out from days of bending and curling. Anyway, I’m going to try finding a way to keep focusing on my daily writing again. I’m only getting one or two pages done a day now, and I should fix that. At least the fanfic chapter I’m working on it relatively short, around forty pages, so it won’t be delayed too much hopefully but it sucks I can’t get through it quicker.

I’m thinking I should socialize a bit more. I’m introverted, so I’m comfortable observing quite a bit, but it means that I rarely interact with people and I can be very cautious when I do so. This can mean I don’t speak up when I should. This leaves me feeling “bleh” some of the time when I’m scrolling around the Internet. Mind you, that might be because I’m often not writing as much during some of the days. I’m taking a break on some of the usual writing and reading time most of the week and the fun and the satisfaction of doing those things isn’t there. Maybe I should find more time to do those things. But aside that, maybe I should talk a bit more with some of the people I follow, not every day but every few days. I’m starting to get more politically active, calling my congresspeople and submitting emails/comments to people and agencies to do or not do certain things. That has led to some satisfaction but still, socializing a bit more in other matters might be needed.

Rambly talk and spoilers for Avengers Endgame and The Sun Is Also A Star )

That’s all for now. At some point I took a walk while editing this and posted this at the last minute. Until the end of June, see you!

davetheanalyzer: (Default)
Don’t think I’ll make posting We Will Hold On Forever’s next chapter this month. I’ve been slow on writing and editing the next chapters, and easily distracted. I’m already editing the chapters I’ll post, but it’ll take some time to make them presentable. I’m trying not to get distracted while writing by having the computer sit on my lap and that does help focus my attention to some extent, but my new headphones are very sensitive, and the sound goes in and out – I have to sit in a very careful way so the relaxing music I listen to is stable. I’ll try to do that more in the next month, so I could have more of a consistent writing output.

Though next month is the last full month for my classes, so there might be some crunch time there. The Literary Marketplace class needs to have a Personal Marketing Report submitted by the end, so that will take some time. As I said before, even if this class’s work can be more intimidating, if I just go through it, it’s easier than I expected. If I do this for all future classes, I assume I will be alright. At least after this semester, I have all summer for more writing time.

Cut for review and spoilers for How To Train Your Dragon The Hidden World and Captain Marvel )

That’s all for now. I’m finishing this entry after watching one video in my rewatch of PBS Spacetime, which will hopefully help me with some of my science fiction story ideas. Until the end of April, see you!

davetheanalyzer: (Default)
 My mother’s oldest brother passed away. He had been in a care-home and recently transferred to hospice when it happened. It had been suspected he would linger for some months but it came around a week later, on my birthday even. I met him in visits to our house and maybe one or two times in the care home but I saw him far less in his last years, so I didn’t feel much of a punch when he went. Mom helped him more and was sadder but was happy his suffering is over and he went back to god. I decided I might as well be part of the funeral, accepting being a pall bearer since we don’t have the money to hire them. It was alright; I felt like I didn’t carry much of the weight. The wake was a bit odd, in that it was mostly friends and relatives chatting amongst themselves while mostly ignoring the body in the room. We did a church service and it was nostalgic from when I went to church. I can see why people do it; the tenants and the promise of a good afterlife can be comforting. It took me a while to realize the singing parts might be recorded. The ceremony at the cemetery was cold and I could feel it through my dress shoes. The funeral guy confirmed to me he did this in storm and all sort of inclement weather, which is incredible. I wouldn’t be able to do his job. I was glad we could go back to our warm vehicles and to the restaurant. It was a long but I did it for my mother and any experiences might be useful for my writings in the future.

I started classes near the middle of the month. It was a slow start. It was mostly introducing each other in one class and doing reading and writing for a forum in another, which didn’t have to be posted until this week at the very latest. Both classes have three other students each, which is strange but on the bright side would mean less interactions on the forum assignments. With how this will effect Writing Portfolio, the professor discussed the option of doing writing prompts for flash fiction and since most of us weren’t interested, he made that optional. I don’t know if this will mean we will revise our original draft this semester three times total or we can submit another work but it’s an interesting conundrum. For The Literary Market, so far the focus in our in-person talk was on methods of publishing and what is best to publish. We discussed trends a bit, but only insofar as to be aware of them. The professor emphasized you don’t need to chase trends or compromise yourself in order to get by. I read ahead on the syllabus and some of the material is intimidating, but it would be useful in learning how to navigate the publishing world to get yourself published.

Spoilers for If Beale Street Could Talk and Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, with warnings about discussion of racism and rape for the former )

That’s all for now. I’m typing at night after it has snowed the night before, as is befitting of this time of year. Until February’s end, see you!

davetheanalyzer: (Default)
I finished my term on the ninth. Truthfully, classes ended on the Monday and Friday of that week but I finished revising a story for one class as much as I could, so I thought I might as well compile my portfolios for both classes and send them in. I checked my grades on Christmas Eve and I got an A for both classes. I kind of expected as much, so I’m not gripped by elation or relief. As long as I do well in class and anticipate I get good grades, I’m not the type to linger over them. 

For Christmas and other gift-giving holidays, I decided I’ll limit the amount of money I’d spend for gifts for myself to between thirty and forty dollars. I got the Land Before Time DVDs for movie 13 and episodes of the TV series, and will complete the remaining entries on my birthday. There is one TV episode that apparently never got a DVD release but I can always watch it online. I would have to hold off getting monster DVDs until maybe Easter or next Christmas/birthday. They are generally more expensive and that self-imposed money limit will mean I get fewer of them but I’ll see how that goes. Like on Thanksgiving, I did some socializing but not as much as last time and went back to watching things on my computer. There was an awkward social moment where I tried to be brave about something only to back out but I don’t think that was the source of my reclusivity. Ah well, I’m not as guilty about it. I did play Digimon Christmas music when I got up that morning as fitting background music when my delighted nephew opened his presents.

Posted the next pair of We Will Hold On Forever chapters. I know the past few chapters have been slower and not as exciting but this changes here. I don’t know if I could have made those slower chapters more interesting or did something else to accomplish what I needed but hopefully you will see the importance of those quiet moments in future chapters. The next two chapters will close out arc 2 but I’m working on the opening chapters for arc 3 these next months. I actually already wrote most of it a year or two earlier but in light of developments that usually come with writing a story, there need to be major rewrites, so expect a February or March posting time. This intensive writing can get exhausting, so I’m taking breaks on weekends whenever I’m not falling behind in the routine. It won’t last when semester starts but I’ll see the benefits during summer break.

Talk and spoilers for Ralph Breaks The Internet )

That is all for now. I got back from shopping with my mom and feeling tired from having to get up early to do so. On this New Years’ Eve, I hope to become a better and braver person in the next year. I don’t know how that might happen. I hope this won’t become one of those resolutions that I will look back on and cringe at. Well, we’ll see. Until the end of the first month of 2019, see you!

davetheanalyzer: (Default)

After reading an article on apologizing online, I decided to edit my apologies for my past mistakes here and here. From the lack of comments I get these past many years, I don’t know if anyone ever reads my blog, especially those I encountered and hurt many years in the past, but I should try to make the apologies proper anyway.

In other news, I’m doing a new pattern where I take a writing and blogging break on public holidays and even socialize a bit, starting this Thanksgiving, with some extended relatives coming around. It was a bit harder than I thought, since I had to find lags in the conversation where to jump in and it’s hard for me to keep socializing for long. I often lost interest and wandered back to my computer. The most I remember is telling my aunt and nephew amusing anecdotes of texting autocorrect fails I’ve seen on that Ellen Clumsy Thumbsby youtube playlist. That certainly went down a hoot, though I dodged the more sexual humor. I did wonder if I socialized enough but Mom said I did just fine and she seemed happy about it.

I didn’t linger during most of the Thanksgiving eating since the sights and smells of the food doesn’t appeal to me and Dad would have bugged me to try the food, even the stuffing again. I gave a loud “no” the second time he asked me about it, which was probably rude of me. I do try stuff but maybe once or twice a weekend, when no one is paying attention to me, so they won’t smugly go “I told you so” if I like it or be annoyed when I (more likely) don’t like it and insist I try it again until I like it. The anxiety about what happens if I try something is a reason I don’t do it every day or might skip some weekends.

Cut for writing and school babble. Also spoilers for Widows, with warning about mentions of abuse and the murder of a teenager )

That’s all for now. I’m editing this post before during another session of We Will Hold On Forever chapter editing. Until the end of the year, see you!

davetheanalyzer: (Default)

It’s fall. It’s getting pretty cold and though some might lament that, I welcome it, since I can sleep more easily in the cold and get to have the pressure of additional blankets. Of course, that meant I often slept a bit later than I want and I’m still struggling with having enough sleep and a consistent sleep schedule. Not helping is also the cold, since it’s become too cold most days to go for a walk and that leaves me thrumming with energy that effects my sleep. I told my parents and my Dad plans to fix the treadmill we had gathering dust for the past couple years. He planned to fix it the last two weekends, but he was busy removing two of our three air conditioners and last week he got sick. In the meantime, I try to make up for this by joining my mom in shopping and vacuuming every other weekend. When it’s even close to sixty degrees, I go out in many layers. I hope the treadmill thing gets taken care of soon.

Having a more advanced phone is useful. On the long drives to and from the dentist, I had Mom listen to a news segments where Native American activists were interviewed about their perspective on the Elizabeth Warren DNA test issue and listening to an audio drama. I was worried a bit Mom would find them, especially the drama, distracting but she was able to get around fine. More importantly, she liked what I had to offer with these. I plan to have her listen to a few other audio dramas the next time we drive and there’s a podcast I’m eying for her to listen too.

Still editing the next We Will Hold On Forever chapters. At the moment, it’s around 65 pages total, but I have a vague goal of cutting it to at least 50. I’ll probably take it to 60 though with my luck. It is a challenge to juggle so many characters at once while still keeping an even pace and even somewhat manageable page count. Exile’s Lone Company is being worked on and off but there are a lot of scenes being added that will definitely have to be reworked on a next draft. With my classes, it has to be accepted only a few one-shots will be posted a year, if I’m lucky. There is only so much time in a day and I have to prioritize it in some ways, especially when I’m writing original fiction for class that should hopefully lead me to getting published one day. I don’t know how that’ll effect my fanfiction writing but I’ll put that aside for now. I’ll just have to see if Exile’s Lone Company can be posted at some time next year.

Cut for spoiler talk for Smallfoot and The Hate U Give, and babble about Barney the Dinosaur. Yes, really. )

That is all for now. Will be going to the dentist Friday to get some fillings in. Until the end of November, see you!

davetheanalyzer: (Default)
 At the end of another month and have gotten somewhat used to the new school routine. I count the number of pages the next readings contain and plot when I read them accordingly, and then pace how I post my thoughts and discussions with others. It does leave some time for other readings and writings but not always much. I got feedback on my pilot scent for the original story sent in and I thought it was reasonable. I have four or five weeks to revise and send it in but after that, I’ll shift to plotting out the first entry into the story. I’ll have to write a short story for my other class and I’m musing what ideas I could test pilot for this. I guess I’ll have to see.

Keeping a consistent sleep schedule is hard. I have to wake up at 7 am every weekday morning for my new duty and sometimes I get up an hour or two before but sometimes don’t go back to sleep fearing I might sleep past my duty’s time. I have slept in on weekends to make up for the time but to get back on schedule, I have had to get less sleep on Monday. The choice sometimes seems to be between keeping a consistent sleep schedule and getting enough sleep.

Took a break from Tumblr for a week again. I did say in June I planned to do it more often but habit got in the way. There was some part of me longing to post something or the other but it was fine and I used the time as best I could. I didn’t feel rushed having to squeeze postings in the day. I should do that more often, take weeks or skip days when I’m too busy. I have also suddenly remembered another cringy moment from years earlier.

There was an anonymous Power Rangers fic event I participated in on a whim where I made asexuality a joke. 
For anyone hurt or irritated by that story, I apologize.  I was only vaguely aware of asexuality and didn't take it seriously. Looking back now, I cringe at this, especially since I now am aware I’m likely on the asexuality/aromantic spectrum. I'm much more aware of asexuality now and I won't do that again.

I have finally reached the part of my We Will Hold On Forever story where I see what effect my writing imitation exercise has on the story. I’ve been reworking on previous drafts of chapters since around April of this year and this is my first time outright writing new material. So far, nothing apparent. I’m trying to fill in four pages a weekday, which means writing as quickly as possible, which results in lots of dialogue and short description. I often don’t know how to execute scenes or connect them, so I basically throw a lot of ideas at the wall and see what sticks. I realized Thursday I was starting to put in some major information a scene early, so I deleted it and found the writing a bit more enjoyable. I’ll see how this plays out.

Talk and spoilers for the film Searching )

That’s all for now. I have already vacuumed my part of the house yesterday and plan to do the same for other section while listening to more of “Vietnam: A Television History” to help pass the time and educate myself. Until the end of October, see you!

davetheanalyzer: (Default)

I’m finally getting around to watching my monster DVDs. I have bought but been sitting on them for so long and noticed recently there was some open time in my weekend evenings. Well, The H-man and Battle In Outer Space aren’t technically monster movies in the Godzilla sense but they are Toho speculative fiction movies close to each other. So far I’ve found Varan dull after the first third and Battle in Outer Space not very exciting. But The H-Man and Mothra were entertaining. It seems that decent enough human characters and engaging plot with some themes is what makes these films stand out. I look forward to going through the others, including the ones I haven’t seen yet.

I’m not going to post another We Will Hold On Forever chapter by the end of the month. I was busy working with the next set of chapters and there are changes I need to implement in the current set to align them. I hope to post them by mid-September at the very latest. I’ve paused working on my next one-shot Exile’s Lone Company because classes have started up and that takes up a lot of time. I managed to sneak in a bit of writing for it this week, but it’s not much. I’ll see how much time I’d have for it when the routine settles in. I also have put aside my weekend times writing We Will Hold On Forever so I can write a original story for class, so output on that might slow down a bit (Well, slower than it already is.)

Have been given a sort of daily responsibility. Don’t want to give too many specifics but it’s important. A relative has been doing it first to give me an example and to set consistency but by Wednesday, I was in charge of it. I was a bit concerned about this adulting job but it went alright enough. I’ll how it goes on other days. Also finally saw the lung doctor concerning my recurring cough. I did some weird breathing tests and the doctor assigned me a stronger dose of medicine to kick it out. I’m three and a half days into it, so I’ll see how it does. Maybe I can finally get off Nightquil to help me sleep.

Cut for babble and spoilers for BlacKkKlansman and Crazy Rich Asians )

That’s all for now. Due to certain events, I have to keep reminding myself that today is not Saturday and I’m relaxing after finishing next week’s readings and responding to all the available online class posts. Until the end of September, see you!

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Near the end of my second semester at Albertus Magnus. Got feedback on my Writing Portfolio excerpt but still unsatisfied, I’m putting it aside and write ahead. Maybe with more material around it, I could make more accurate edits. For Readings in Fiction, I’m writing and editing an imitation exercise that I combined with an original idea I kicked around in my head for awhile. I fell behind and had to pause my fic writing to make time for it, but I’m happy so far. I’m interested in how the teacher will react. This might be a bit weird for a writing class. Then again, there has been a lot of fantastic stories among my fellow students, so maybe it wouldn’t be that far afield.

Long spoilery ramblings for A Wrinkle in Time, Tomb Raider, Pacific Rim Uprising, and Love Simon )

That’s all I can talk about for now. I’m so tired because my sleep schedule went out of my whack as I caught up with my writing, so I tried to right itby walking up at eight, getting only four hours of sleep. I can’t wait to get back to my fic writing. Until May’s end, see you!

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Near the end of the shortest month, and schoolwork kind of swelled. Instead of the usual three stories a week, last week I read and reviewed five, since the teacher suggested to just in case the author’s style caught me enough I could imitate it for a later assignment. I don’t think that’ll be the case but reading 112 pages in five days was a challenge and so was writing the reviews and composing the responses to others’ reviews. In addition, I had to write a four page paper on how to write shorty story endings and there was the usual read and review work for Writing Portfolio I had to do.

With all of that and having fallen behind a bit on my reading and watching schedule, I decided to drop my one-shot writings from “one page a weekday” to “whenever I can find time to write.” It was so challenging to squeeze my schoolwork into my usual routines this week, I decided I should make this change. This does hurt a bit, as I like having two fanfic projects to work on, but it wasn’t worth the stress. I would revert when the school semester is over and there will still be plenty of time for me to pencil it in during said semester, so it isn’t a total loss. I just hope I can get around to posting a few one-shots this year. Granted, it might help if they weren’t so long, but it might take me a few years to see what a regular posting schedule would be like.

Speaking of fanfic, I finished writing chapter 14 of We Will Hold On Forever last week and got to chapter 15 this week. There are more than a few segments I’m unsatisfied with, so much that needs to be rewritten, and two scenes I’m considering moving to the next chapter, but I needed to get it down. I did have some fun moments where I came up with scenes and moments on the spot and they seem to fit so far. From how things look, though, it would be lucky if I can post things by April like I promised. Chapter 15 might be as long as 14 and with the edits involved, going back to sync chapters 10 to 13 might take awhile. On the bright side, there will be four to chapters in a row that I will post during a month.

I am also picking up vacuuming. Near the end of January, I started vacuuming the part of the house I hang out in most often. After Dad’s grumblings several months back, I felt compelled to do it. It was a bit exhausting but I did feel like I accomplished something. He normally did it every two weeks but I initially decided to do it once a month on the last Sunday, since I was lazy. When that time came, I found a different vacuum head and asked him how to switch it up. He ended up instructing and helping me with vacuuming the rest of that house section and the adjacent rooms. There was a lot of trying to stand up straight and vacuum smaller parts of the floor without moving much. The small vacuum head was for the wall and other narrow parts, to pick up where hair somehow gathers up. It was challenging to follow those instructions but Dad seemed patient. I’m considering switching back to vacuuming every two weeks so I could build up those instincts. I’ll see within two weeks.

I have an iPhone. I stuck with an ancient Sprint cell for nearly a decade since I rarely call people and most of the Internet access now possible on a phone I have on my laptop, which I take wherever I go. But with how texting has become such an important part of communication and with Mom often fielding texts from my helper, I decided to get a new phone. I have explored it on and off for the past month, and it can have its uses. I could listen to audio programs while doing activities or read fanfics on the go. I haven’t set up my voicemail yet but I’m getting the hang of texting. There is an issue with that, though. The texts don’t always seem to get to their sender. I thought I fixed the problem but for example, Mom texted me on Sunday and I texted her back except she didn’t get the message. I had to send it two more times for her to get it once. I don’t know what the problem is but it meant my helper didn’t get the text about seeing Early Man and she got tied up in personal matters, so she wasn’t available.

Babble about Black Panther and Early Man, with the usual warning for spoilers )

That’s all for now. I’m getting up around 7 am instead of 9:30 am this week because I have classes on Saturday and I’m thinking of sticking with it. I helped Mom get grosses two times and that’s the kind of exercise I need in this cold weather. Staying up a bit late tonight typing this up might throw a wrench there, so cross my fingers. Until the end of March, see you!

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The first month of 2018 and the first month of classes. I have another Writing Portfolio class. Another student was going to join us, but she dropped out. At least that means fewer people to review. I’m writing a two pages of my master project a weekend, just so I wouldn’t rush it at the last minute and hopefully have a completed chapter I’d be able to modify with context. The other class Readings in Fiction involves reading several short stories a week while discussing them and some power phrases on the forums. Completing my third week, which is still near the beginning but I’m sure I can keep up with this so far.

In fanfic news, finally posted We Will Hold On Forever chapters 8 and 9. After editing chapters 10 through 13 over and over again, I felt like I did enough that I could post the preceding chapters without much worry. Now to write chapters 14 and 15, which I have barely any material for. With the developments so far, I replotted those chapters, even going beyond my eighteen line limit for one of them so all the details would be clear. I was worried about how to accomplish a certain plot point or two but as I got writing, the answer seemed to become clear to me. I written some pages for chapter 14 but barely any of it would be of use for what I had planned, so I trashed it. I decided to experiment with a new writing pattern where I forgo reading every five minutes to write four lines instead of two. As a result, I’ve already got a page for chapter 14. I didn’t think I could do two pages a day with classes and I won’t be able to do it on all weekdays but I might be able to ground out ten pages a week. For chapters that range from forty to sixty pages, that means there mightn’t be as long a release gap.

Also nearly done with the first rewrite/edit of my Godzilla fic Together in Death. I might have to rewrite a second time to change more details and make more distinct characterization but I feel it’s much improved. I tried to cut down one or two lines per paragraph and eliminate anything I repeat, so a story over 31 pages is now 29. I’ll see how I progress here, and when I’ll post this.

Cut for spoilers for Star Wars The Last Jedi, Ferdinand, & Proud Mary. I managed not to be too wordy for the last two. )

That is all for now. Excited about the Black Panther reviews coming out and look forward to seeing it. Trying not to see too much footage and spoil myself. Ambiguous on seeing Antman and the Wasp for various reasons but if nothing else, that is one well cut trailer. It had more personality than the teaser I glimpsed for the first one years ago. But that’s far off later in the year. Until the end of February, see you! 

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The end of another year, with many beginnings and other things. I started and finished my first semester at Albertus Magnus college, in my first online classes. For my Creative Process class, I wrote and submitted an essay based on how technology communication is used in storytelling. I was going to talk about the storytelling process in general but the professor expressed interest in the technology communication part, so I concentrated on that. I used Tribetwelve’s social accounts and a fanfic composed of emails and text messages as examples to show how each communications’ advantages add to the story. Due to the short word limit, I had to cut out a bit I’d have liked to wax lyrical about. Still, I believe my point came across, as he sent a grading email expressing fascination with this phenomena, comparing the emails and text message fanfic to those novels composed entirely of letters. Needless to say, I passed. That was a nice note to end on.

For Writing Portfolio, I submitted my revision and got feedback. I had some details and characterization cleared up, but still need to work out the place of other characters as well as the details of the world. Didn’t think there would be anything dramatic to work on for class’s end, just spotted a few days before the final day that a portfolio was due. The wording gave the impression you were supposed to submit other people’s works you critiqued but the professor actually meant to submit the works you had critiqued. Fortunately, there wasn’t that many. I just submitted both drafts of the writing samples I submitted for both classes and that was that. This won’t be the last I deal with that professor though, since I need to take this class around three more times to fulfill the requirements.

My other next term class is Readings in Fiction, which will be taught by my advisor. From the description, it’s supposed to catch us up on what’s contemporary in the literary scene as well as the controversies and debates. Even with keeping track of the trends, we’ll apparently learn how to be innovative and find our own voices. The workload sounds intimidating but my previous classes also sounded intimidating and I dealt with them just fine. I surmise one thing we’ll learn is that the process of testing and borrowing from other writers would lead us to find our voice. I see how true that is when the term starts January 17th.

Cut for spoilers of Coco, TW for mentions of sexual assault, and fanfic babble )

That’s all I can think of for now. I’m typing at my usual spot, with snow outside and reading and reviewing a good Zootopia fanfic called “Stars.” I’ve been reading fanfics a bit more since I miss doing more than one at a time and I’m reviewing to give support since writers including myself complain about how the lack of reviews are de-motivating, so I should walk the walk. Hopefully, I can keep some of it up when the new semester starts. Happy New Year, everyone. Until the end of January, see you!

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Near the end of the second-to-last month of 2017 and also near the end of my first semester at Albertus Magnus. I submitted my revision of my original work for The Creative Process for our third and final in-person meeting but due to the professor getting sick, the class was cancelled, so I only received feedback recently. For those days, I usually write comments like I’m going to post them on the forum anyway (and usually do), but the others like to write it in different ways, even take notes on the writing samples they print. It seems like they won’t write them in regular post format and were going to hand their physical notes but I got nothing and I didn’t notice anyone giving an indication they wanted to give me something. I might have to email about that.

We finished Margaret Atwood’s last few chapters in November, covering the relationship between reader and writer and how writers take inspiration from the underworld. It was interesting to read how the former had been interpreted across time, the debates of how intimate it should be, and the talk of how writers use an ideal reader to write. Though I can understand the wariness about fame, I can’t be content to publish works and receive no response. Feedback is what keeps me going. I don’t think about ideal reader much, only concentrating on editing the text itself. If I do think about an Ideal Reader, which for me is an amalgamation of various overemotional reviewers I’ve seen online, it’s more to cackle about how they might react to a story segment to come.

For the last chapter, it was interesting to see how writers connected storytelling to death but I didn’t connect to the conceit that writers write because they want to leave something behind. Writing for me is more a compulsion than anything. I can more believe how the underworld often influences the subject matter of stories, as a theme or source of conflict, and that the past falls under the underworld since even yesterday is dead in a sense and will never be resurrected. All in all, a more philosophical read but still informative.

We moved on to the much shorter Wen Chi’s “The Art of Writing,” a series of poems from an ancient Chinese poet and military person that advises on writing. There was a big preface explaining the poet’s context and that the translation tries to capture the spirit of the poems but like all translations can never be exact. With that caveat in mind, these poems seem to demonstrate that writer experience and struggle is far more common than might be thought, regardless of time and place. There was the expression of fear of not being able to produce any more stories, how starting a writing session might be difficult at first but inspiration will flow into you as go, and that people’s stories are often formed from the stories of the past. There is also some basic writing advice, like to not chase trends, be honest, or not have style overcome substance. Things I have heard before but who knows, I might need that basic advice in the future and so it might be one of the ultra rare college books I have that just don’t gather dust.

I have another paper I need to write before semester’s end. It being the final one, I assumed that it would be twice the length of the five to six pagers we did but judging from the word length, it’ll be around four to five pages and it seems like we can choose or expand on any topic we covered before. I’ll be sure to think about the topic I’ll choose next week, when I’ll have time to write a page a day in time for the due date. But the professor also had a workshop date for that week. Since the date fell on a weekday, I emailed to ask if it was a mistake, but likely due to busy and sick, he fell behind on his forum posts and emails, so it took until today for him to confirm and fix the mistake.

As for the Writing Portfolio class, reviewing one or two works a week as usual but the time to submit my revised work is next week. I remember how hard it was to do two pages a day to get to the six page limit, so I’ve started writing this week with a page a day. I felt a sprout of anxiety in anticipation to starting, as it has been awhile since I made my revision notes to myself and I didn’t know how I was going to get through all those changes. When I actually started, I was slow and stressed, unable to decide if something wasn’t working and then having to erase and rewrite passages all over again to get on the right path. I had the same struggle with writing fanfics. I even fell behind a day. I checked my rewrite notes frequently, to remind myself of a direction to try. Today and yesterday, however, the writing became a bit easier, the direction becoming clearer even if I still hesitated and falling further behind. Still, I’ll press on. I hope I can rewrite and edit a submission that feels right and I can be proud of.

Cut for babble about Marshall and Thor Ragnorak. Spoilers expected, and a tw for the mention of rape and racism in concern with the historical case Marshall covers )

That’s all I can think to talk about for now. I’m still coughing from a sickness caught last week, so I’ll go for a check-in tomorrow. I hope I can catch up with my writing and end this semester on a high note. At any rate, see you at the end of 2017!

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Already around two-thirds into my Albertus Magnus semester, and the month involved some great work in both of my classes. I sent not only one but two writing samples in for feedback for my writing project. I guess I was a bit overconfident with the one I sent in for Writing Portfolio, since the first reaction I had to the feedback was annoyance and resentment. There was criticism of adverbs and the moments of exposition, as well as not showing some characters and a few other things. I thought I did well with the first writing sample and didn’t think there was much that needed to be changed. After a day or so away though, I cooled off and thought there was some validity and potential in the feedback. I wrote down notes on how to revise the sample, which won’t be due until December 19th. Hopefully, I can remember to start revising the sample early, because writing at two pages a day for six double-spaced pages was a bit much with the other work I also did.
Discussion of writing samples in class and spoilers for Professor Marston and the Wonder Women )

A few final things. Halloween is here but I’m not going to be dressing up. Lost interest in the holiday. Instead, I’ll be writing. The strong winds on midnight Monday knocked down a tree that knocked out the lines for the house across the road and caused a brief brownout for us. It might have damaged our connection and needs to be fixed. Hopefully that can be done without too much issue. By the end of November, I’ll be nearing the end of classes and maybe made some progress on my writing projects.

That’s all for now. Anyway, see you!

April 2025

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