I’ve started therapy. I’ve been going for over a month now, talking about concerns and basic 101 matters on how to change. Hopefully this guidance would push me to be less reclusive and be braver. I have read through the documents the therapist provided twice last weekend, though I haven’t memorized them. I confronted someone in my house about using the r-slur several days prior and though I didn’t follow the instructions on the confronting paper exactly, the person did apologize. Granted, they didn’t seem the type to make a fight about it but that was heartening. I also poked a user if they were reposting fanart with permission or not but since I got no response, decided not to make a fight over it. The challenge is when to confront someone and when to walk away, as you often can’t change people’s minds. My therapist and I are currently going over my routines and looking to find times that can be opened up to make space for more socializing. Seeing any results will probably take months, even years, so I don’t expect immediate changes within me (Though I hope they will come to be positive)In other news, yeah, it’s looking like I won’t be posting much of We Will Hold On Forever this semester, if not for the year. I keep skipping writing days for my master project and though I don’t technically have to make up for them, I feel the impulse to. So the fanfic will be put off for the most part. I’m vaguely thinking of doubling one day of master project writing so I would have a day to spare for the fanfic but I hesitate since that could be very draining. This is all happening when, for personal reasons, I’m losing some passion for writing Land Before Time fanfic. That sucks, because I like the series and I want to put my story ideas down but some negative associations have been polluting that love. I have decided to distance myself from those associations but I wonder if that is enough. At the very least, I want to finish We Will Hold On Forever if I’m really going to move on from the fandom.
( Cut for talk and spoilers for Birds of Prey and The Photograph, and some potential brief issues of transphobia and consent? ) That’s all for now. I’ve spent most of the Saturday rewriting this post and I have slept around the clock again to get to a good sleep schedule. I hope it works this time. Until the end of March, see you!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
