davetheanalyzer: (Chomper and Ruby)

Past mistakes can be hard to shake from the mind, whatever their level. There are some that are long ago and even minor, so would probably seem weird to bring up now. However, there is one issue at the moment I feel an urge to bring up. Around 2012, I posted an article about “Japan’s Untouchable Workers” on ontd_political One of the comments corrected that the term used in the article was somewhere in the slur direction and the proper term is the dowa people. I apologize that I didn’t respond and note that. I can barely remember my mindset when reading it but I barely responded to comments then and I might have saw it as a reaction against some of the political articles I have been posting. If the latter is true, I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have let my feelings get in the way of accepting such a correction. If someone corrects me on this matter now, I’ll acknowledge and note the correction. I’m ashamed of some of my actions in that community and I hope those I interacted with there that I annoyed and hurt to whatever level are in a better place since then.

In other news, my writing is still going at a snail’s pace. I have tried the method of opening a private window and play music there while I’m writing, only opening a regular window to watch a minute of Doctor Who for writing inspiration. But I still manage to get distracted. Mind you, it might be because this set of chapters involve a lot of fight scenes. There are some breaks of conversation and character that energize me but fight scenes can be draining. I’ll have to work on imbuing it with more character the next time around. Hopefully I can balance this writing with my classes starting at the beginning of the week. That does means any secondary writing beside We Will Hold On Forever will be more sporadic.

Review and spoilers for The Farewell and Blinded by the Light )

That’s all for now. With classes starting, I’m thinking of pulling back from Tumblr posting after this Sunday, so I would have more time for class and other leisure stuff, since it takes up a lot of time. I’ll see how it works. Until the end of September, see you!

davetheanalyzer: (Default)
 At the end of another month and have gotten somewhat used to the new school routine. I count the number of pages the next readings contain and plot when I read them accordingly, and then pace how I post my thoughts and discussions with others. It does leave some time for other readings and writings but not always much. I got feedback on my pilot scent for the original story sent in and I thought it was reasonable. I have four or five weeks to revise and send it in but after that, I’ll shift to plotting out the first entry into the story. I’ll have to write a short story for my other class and I’m musing what ideas I could test pilot for this. I guess I’ll have to see.

Keeping a consistent sleep schedule is hard. I have to wake up at 7 am every weekday morning for my new duty and sometimes I get up an hour or two before but sometimes don’t go back to sleep fearing I might sleep past my duty’s time. I have slept in on weekends to make up for the time but to get back on schedule, I have had to get less sleep on Monday. The choice sometimes seems to be between keeping a consistent sleep schedule and getting enough sleep.

Took a break from Tumblr for a week again. I did say in June I planned to do it more often but habit got in the way. There was some part of me longing to post something or the other but it was fine and I used the time as best I could. I didn’t feel rushed having to squeeze postings in the day. I should do that more often, take weeks or skip days when I’m too busy. I have also suddenly remembered another cringy moment from years earlier.

There was an anonymous Power Rangers fic event I participated in on a whim where I made asexuality a joke. 
For anyone hurt or irritated by that story, I apologize.  I was only vaguely aware of asexuality and didn't take it seriously. Looking back now, I cringe at this, especially since I now am aware I’m likely on the asexuality/aromantic spectrum. I'm much more aware of asexuality now and I won't do that again.

I have finally reached the part of my We Will Hold On Forever story where I see what effect my writing imitation exercise has on the story. I’ve been reworking on previous drafts of chapters since around April of this year and this is my first time outright writing new material. So far, nothing apparent. I’m trying to fill in four pages a weekday, which means writing as quickly as possible, which results in lots of dialogue and short description. I often don’t know how to execute scenes or connect them, so I basically throw a lot of ideas at the wall and see what sticks. I realized Thursday I was starting to put in some major information a scene early, so I deleted it and found the writing a bit more enjoyable. I’ll see how this plays out.

Talk and spoilers for the film Searching )

That’s all for now. I have already vacuumed my part of the house yesterday and plan to do the same for other section while listening to more of “Vietnam: A Television History” to help pass the time and educate myself. Until the end of October, see you!

davetheanalyzer: (Default)

A week or so back, I experienced some guilt and anxiety for a few days and on and off since to a lesser extent for the mistakes I made. I put my foot in my mouth more than once six-seven years ago in my livejournal/dreamwidth activities and said and did some things that were rude and even prejudiced. I even went back to look at one such post and my stomach remained clenched for a day or two. I had to remind myself that I have apologized for some of those actions…though not for others. For anyone who encountered me on ONTD_Feminism, especially that insensitive and tactless post where I vaunted a knights story with some characters only identified by their race and other marginalized groups, I apologize. I wanted to show off my stories and how diverse they were, even though the development was incomplete and I didn’t understand the identities for characters I was describing, nor the implications of only giving more character description to one or two from more privileged groups. I won't do that again. I know a bit more now but I still have a long ways to go. For ONTD_Political, for the posts involving Melissa Harris-Perry and Alice Walker from the Black Agenda Report, I’m sorry. I still have qualms with some of Harris-Perry’s statements and work but that article was poorly written and hateful, especially since Walker did some of the things BAR was condemning Harris-Perry for. I shouldn't have posted it and, though I don’t remember everything about my mindset then, I wouldn't be surprised racism played a part with me aggressively posting articles critical of her for not being a perfect leftist in response to the community's push back. I'll think more carefully about why and when to be critical of public figures of color and I won't engage in aggressive posting againAnyone who looked at my journal around that time might have seen me railing against the community, to sometimes caustic extent. For those few that did read them (I get so few comments, I’m never sure how many read this journal), I’m sorry. That was spiteful and immature, and that went too far. Some lack of social tact played a part in these and definitely in my actions in Dear_Mun. I played my own OC called “deletion_comp” there, and I was the one who metagammed/infomodded (i.e. assume knowledge of characters' personality and/or universe) with roleplayed characters and asked creepy, sexual questions without the other muns’ consent. For that, I apologize. I was oblivious to the social norms I was violating and thought I was having silly fun, not aware I was annoying or discomforting others. I no longer do roleplay and I'll be more tactful in other situations. I understand if some people I interacted with in these three communities aren’t forgiving or want to interact with me again, but I thought now I should be honest about my mistakes and try to do better on all these fronts.

In other news, I did another Yale study. I heard Mom talk about it with my older brother and decided to participate. Really, I don’t know my job and income prospects as a disabled person, so I need all the money I can get. I won’t go into too much detail in the unlikely case this gets me in trouble but suffice to say it was about tracking eye movements. I don’t remember the exact explanation but it’s about understanding autism better and thus knowing how to accommodate us better. I’m not much interested in finding out the results, but it is nice I’m contributing to something good.

Discussion of and spoilers for Sorry To Bother You, with analysis(?) I hope isn't out of line )

That’s all for now. I hope by the end of next month, I can get a handle with my cough and not need to rely on Nightquil to get a full rest. I’ve heard that keeping your eyes from screens a half hour before bed can help you sleep better, so I’m trying that but the jury’s out on its effectiveness so far. Well, until the end of August, see you!

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